


Don't Let Me Fade Away

by xLetterstoHarry



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 11:13:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10830120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLetterstoHarry/pseuds/xLetterstoHarry
Summary: Goro Akechi wakes up one morning to find that he’s coughing up flower petals. He googles his symptoms—fatigue, tightness in his chest, red rimmed eyes, perfume scented breath, etc.—Akechi is displaying all of the obvious signs of Hanahaki Disease. The problem with this is that Akechi was certain that his feelings were not reciprocated, and Akechi’s crush just happens to be the new transfer student to Shujin Academy who has quite the intriguing past.





	Don't Let Me Fade Away

They always say that first impressions tend to make a lasting impact. For Goro Akechi, his first impression upon Akira Kurusu was nothing more than extraordinary. He couldn’t quite determine what it was about the curly haired boy who was sat in the midst Shujin students on a school trip to the studio. Akechi would admit, though, the boy was the first person to really make him question his own personal opinion on the now infamous ‘Phantom Thieves.’ Although Akira was taken aback by the sudden request of a comment on the Thieve’s actions, he still answered the question with no hesitation nor quiver in his voice.  
“They do more than the cops.”  
It earned a laugh from the other students around him, causing the young detective to chuckle as well. Akechi noticed, though, the serious expression upon Akira’s features never faltered. Akechi couldn’t help but question silently, all the while keeping up his cheerful television persona. He took the opportunity to press further, questioning the student about his blonde friend next to him and if he suddenly had a change of heart. Once more, Akira replied sternly, “They only target criminals.”  
That struck Akechi. How did this mere student know the Thieves’ motives? It couldn’t be more than a coincidence, no? Unless there was a ninety-nine out of a hundred-percent chance that this boy was a Phantom Thief himself? —No. That’s absurd. Akechi chuckled lowly once more, slipping his eyes shut for a moment before continuing with the television report. He would admit, something about the Shujin student peaked his interest and although he wouldn’t like to admit it, his eyes seemed to drift to the dark-haired boy more than once throughout the duration of the recording. Akira’s eyes seemed to burn through his, even from behind the glasses he wore. Something was odd and something wasn’t quite…right.  
Akechi could sense that he must’ve struck a nerve in the three Shujin students that sat together during the taping. He didn’t miss how once he’d focused his attention back to the newscasters, that the blonde next to Akira began whispering ferociously to him and a glare shot in his direction. Akechi had to refrain himself from laughing at the sight. Oh, yes, those students were quite odd.  
After the recording, Akechi found himself searching for the dark-haired student. He’d spotted him only moments after the boy’s blonde friend had stepped away.  
“Oh, it’s you.”  
At the sound of Akechi’s voice made Akira turn his head in surprise. Akechi smiled politely to which Akira simply gave a nod in greeting. “I’m glad I found you. I wanted to thank you in person.”  
Akira raised a brow, turning to face the young detective. He tilted his head gently, silently encouraging Akechi to continue. “I found our discussion very meaningful. Few people are so willing to speak their minds as freely as you did earlier. I feel like our discussions could prove quite fruitful. Would you mind talking with me again?” Akechi’s heart rate picked up as he requested to see the boy again. He didn’t know where the sudden burst of confidence came from, but there was just something so intriguing about Akira Kurusu.  
Akira seemed to ponder the question for a few moments before answering. “If the opportunity arises.”  
Akechi couldn’t help but grin at the response, closing his eyes in delight. “Thank you. It makes me glad to hear that. The students from Shujin are truly quite interesting.” Akira only nodded, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “I looked forward to seeing you again.”  
Akechi smiled once more before turning on his heel and leaving behind a very baffled Akira Kurusu. Akechi felt his cheeks begin to burn as he thought about how he’d just requested to see the Shujin student again. And, well, he didn’t technically decline. It made his heart race—in a good way, of course. It was purely for Akechi’s own gain, right? Perhaps this quiet, reserved Shujin student knew a little more than most about these so-called Phantom Thieves. Even though Akechi would’ve liked to say that he wanted to see Akira again purely for investigation reasons, but he would be lying. Although, the information he may possess was definitely a plus, but Akechi couldn’t deny that Akira was intriguing in more ways than he could comprehend—he was beautiful. Of course, Akechi would never admit that. He just needed to keep everything solely professional. Because that’s he was. A professional.  
✦ ✧  
Goro Akechi first met Akira Kurusu almost five months ago. They met up several times in the span of those five months, although every time they parted, Akechi couldn’t help but feel like Akira wasn’t too fond of him. That wasn’t enough for Akechi to stay away from the boy—no—it only made Akechi’s want to see the other grow stronger. It was about a month and a half ago that Akechi began to realize that something wasn’t right. Physically, he was losing stamina and focus on his work. He had more dizzy spells than he could remember and the constant tightness in his chest left no sign of leaving anytime soon. It wasn’t really until Akechi found himself crouched over his toilet, his eyes shut tight, and vomiting that he determined that, yeah, this wasn’t right. Upon further investigation of the contents in the toilet bowl, he wasn’t expecting to find—flower petals? His brows scrunched in confusion, his eyes still watering from the intense pain in his chest, but nevertheless shook his head slightly and flushed the toilet, deciding that he was only just imagining things.  
It wasn’t until about a week later when Akechi found himself sitting at the counter of a little coffee shop tucked in an alleyway by the name of Leblanc that he once again questioned his health. He wasn’t expecting to see Akira Kurusu descend the stairs, offering a smile to the shop owner before reaching for a green apron that was hanging nearby. Akira lifted his head once he’d successfully tied the fabric around himself only to meet the intense, yet unsure stare of Goro Akechi. The tightness in his chest seemed to become quite heavier at the sight of the other boy, making him wince and lay a gentle hand over his chest. Akira must’ve noticed the discomfort because within seconds, he was standing in front of the young detective.  
“You okay?” Akira asked, his eyes never leaving Akechi’s downward cast eyes as he refilled the mug that sat in front of him. Akechi chuckled lowly, a small smile appearing on his lips.  
“Nothing gets past you, huh?” Akechi said, raising his head to meet Akira’s gray eyes. “I’m just delightful, thank you for asking. Just a little worn out of work, is all.” Akechi plastered one of his signature, fake smiles onto his face. Clearly, Akira didn’t buy into it, yet nodded nevertheless.  
“Seems like that’s all you ever do, Akechi-kun.” Akira replied, leaning onto the counter slightly. Akechi chuckled once more, taking a small sip of the coffee that had been poured for him.  
“I have to keep myself busy somehow, don’t I?”  
Akira only shrugged, still watching the other carefully, seemingly trying to find something about the mysterious boy that was Goro Akechi.  
“Well, I must be going,” Akechi said suddenly. “I’ve already overstayed my visit. Thank you for the coffee, Kurusu-kun. Please excuse me.” Akechi grabbed the suitcase that occupied the chair next to him before bowing respectively and taking his leave. It wasn’t until he stepped outside the doors of Leblanc that he took a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. Why did he feel that way around Akira Kurusu? The pain only worsened at the mere sight of the boy. That was when Goro Akechi knew that he wasn’t okay.  
Two A.M. seemed to come a lot quicker than Akechi realized. The past couple of hours had been spent on countless google searches of the symptoms he’d seemed to acquire and the results were…alarming to say the least. His constant coughing was becoming quite tiresome and every other cough, flower petals would be lying in the palm of Akechi’s hand.  
According to google, only to say if he could truly believe what he read, he had acquired the disease by the name of Hanahaki. “The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.”  
One-sided love? That was absurd. Akechi didn’t love anyone…did he? No, of course not. Although, the mere sight of Akira Kurusu causing his chest to tighten did seem a little strange. He didn’t…have feelings for the other boy…did he? Akechi would admit, though, that he did find Akira quite alluring and there was an aura of mystery around him. Goro Akechi would never admit that discovering little quirks about Akira Kurusu made his stomach churn—in a good way, of course. Although, if this ‘Hanahaki Disease’ was indeed true, that meant that Akechi was suffering from a one-sided love. One in which Akira did not reciprocate the detective’s feelings. And, Akechi would be lying if he said that it didn’t hurt that his feelings weren’t returned. No, in reality, it hurt like hell. Akechi couldn’t help but curse himself for even developing feelings for the damn kid. And, now, Akechi was ninety-nine percent sure that he was going to die…all because of some stupid, high school crush.  
✦ ✧  
As the days progressed, the tightness in Akechi’s chest only continued to worsen and with every cough, more flower petals began to come from his lungs. He refused to go to the doctor. But, when Akira witnessed the young detective sitting at the end of the counter at Leblanc one rainy afternoon, he was trying—yet failing—to mute his coughing, but to no prevail. Akechi cursed under his breath, noticing a flower petal fall from his lips.  
“Are you okay, Akechi?” Akira’s voice startled the teen, making him clench his fist around the flower petal that lied in his palm. Akechi raised his head to meet Akira’s concerned gaze. Akechi smiled weakly, trying to pull a cheerful smile towards the curly haired boy. Akira only raised his brow, his frown becoming more prominent as he watched Akechi squeeze his eyes shut once more in pain, carefully placing his hand over his chest.  
“I’m fin—“  
“You need to see a doctor,” Akira cut him off. “I’ve got a recommendation, if you need one.” Akechi smiled politely, ducking his head slightly at the concern Akira was showing. His cheeks were burning under Akira’s intense stare, not helping his case—crush—whatsoever.  
“What makes you so certain I—“ cough. “—need medical attention?” Akechi felt his eyes water as the tickle in his throat became suddenly prominent. Akira gave him an incredulous look. Akechi wanted more than anything for Akira to just walk away and leave him alone. Akechi couldn’t take it. He couldn’t take the intense gaze of the young barista. “Kurusu-kun, I—“  
“Takemi-san…she can help you. She’s just around the corner.” Akira said. Akechi chuckled.  
“I’m flattered that you care so much, Kurusu-kun.” He said, his eyes still downcast, staring at the specks upon the counter. Akira seemed taken aback at the comment and was about to speak before Akechi cut him off.  
“I must be going. Thank you for your hospitality.” Akechi didn’t wait for the other boy to respond before quickly gathering his things and walking out the door of Leblanc. As he made his way through the backstreets and towards the station, he passed a clinic…immediately assuming it was the office of this ‘Takemi-san’ he spoke of. Akechi took a mental note to perhaps pay the doctor a visit soon.  
✦ ✧  
“Kurusu recommended you, huh?”  
Akechi sat in the examination chair across from Tae Takemi, fidgeting slightly under the intense, yet amused expression on her face. Akechi nodded, glancing down at his hands that sat folded in his lap.  
“Huh, what a kid,” she muttered before turning serious and began inquiring about what brought Akechi to her. “So, your visit. What brings you here today?”  
Akechi took a deep breath before answering the question. “I’m…well, I’m getting sick quite frequently. You probably will think I’m insane when I tell you…” Akechi paused. “I’m vomiting up flower petals.”  
Takemi smirked, unfolding her legs, and setting the clipboard she held down on the desk behind her. “Oh, dear. You’re in quite a predicament, aren’t you?” Akechi didn’t know how to take the statement.  
“I—I don’t know what you mean…”  
“You’re in love with someone, aren’t you?” Takemi said. “And, they don’t reciprocate those feelings, do they?”  
Akechi’s face paled, his heart sinking. He felt the world around him begin to spin. He knew what was wrong with him, but actually hearing a medical professional say it themselves was enough to have his world seem to crash down around him.  
“Akechi?” Takemi placed a hand on his upper arm, causing him to jump and snap his head up in surprise. His eyes scanned the young doctor’s face, looking for any sign that she was lying, but found nothing. Akechi startled at the touch of Takemi’s fingers brushing his cheeks, wiping away the tears he hadn’t known he was shedding. “Are you okay?”  
He nodded shakily, wanting to say that, yes, he was okay, but in reality, he wasn’t okay. “H-How can I stop this? I mean…I-I don’t want to continue living like this.”  
Takemi sighed, closing her eyes briefly before responding. “This will kill you if you don’t take any action. There’s two ways to rid yourself of the Hanahaki Disease.”  
Takemi paused, making sure Akechi was composed enough to handle what she was going to say. “One, you can leave it alone. Perhaps this crush of yours will pass over time, but if it doesn’t, there have been reports of those dying from the buildup of flowers in their lungs.” She explained. “Two, you can get an operation to remove the flowers—“  
“I want that. I-I need that!” Akechi cut the young doctor off, startling her and causing her to look up at him with a solemn look.  
“Akechi-kun, you didn’t let me finish,” Takemi said. “This operation…it will remove the flowers from your lungs, but the feelings that you hold currently will disappear as well.”  
For the second time in that span of minutes, Akechi felt his heart drop. The feelings he felt for Akira would…disappear? He didn’t exactly want to let go of the feelings he felt for the other boy. Akechi didn’t want to forget how just being around Akira made his stomach fill with butterflies—good ones—and how even though his feelings weren’t reciprocated, just knowing Akira tolerated him was enough. He wanted to feel his heart swell at the sight of Akira smiling in his direction and wanted to get that tingling sensation when their fingers brushed ever so slightly when Akira handed him his coffee. Goro Akechi didn’t want to forget about how he felt for the young barista at Leblanc.  
✦ ✧  
Akechi was certain that Akira Kurusu would not reciprocate his feelings, but he had nothing left to lose, right?  
He found himself, once again, standing in front of Leblanc, staring at the sign in the window that read, ‘Open.’ His hands were stuffed in the pockets of his jacket, ducking his head as the wind blew past him. He took a deep breath before urging himself to move and enter the café. This was it.  
The bell chimed overhead, signaling that a customer had walked in, making Sojiro and Akira both look to who had entered. Akechi nodded with a smile, but instead of taking a seat at the counter like he usually did, he went to stand in front of Akira, meeting his eyes.  
“Can I speak with you, perhaps?” Akechi asked, mentally commending himself for not stumbling over his words. Akira raised a brow before looking to Sojiro who nodded in affirmation. Akira shrugged and nodded. “Did you want to talk somewhere else or is a booth alright?”  
“If you don’t mind…I’d like some privacy.” Akechi said with a small, eye crinkling smile. Akira nodded, glancing towards the stairs that led to his attic bedroom. The two made their way up the stairs, Akira leading the way. Akechi felt his palms begin to sweat, which made his heart race. He watched Akira’s figure ascend the stairs ahead of him, beginning to lose the confidence he had just held only moments ago.  
Akira turned to him once they reached the room, outstretching his arm to offer up the sofa. Akechi shook his head, politely declining. “I’ll just stand, thank you.” Akechi clasped his hands together in front of him, looking to the ground.  
“So, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?” Akira asked as he looked to the detective with a questioning look.  
This was the moment Akechi had been dreading and preparing mentally for, for the past couple of days. He needed to do this. If anything, he felt like hearing the rejection outright would be better than not letting Akira know how he felt.  
“I…well, I just wanted to say that these past months of us growing our friendship has really made me incredibly happy. I like to believe meeting you at the television studio was fate and that we weren’t meant to have such meaningful conversations together.” Akechi explained. “Your time and attentiveness has meant a lot to me. So, I thank you for that, Akira Kurusu.”  
“Are you giving me some kind of suicide speech, Akechi-kun?”  
Akechi chuckled under his breath, shaking his head. “Of course not. I’m simply thanking you for everything you’ve given me these past few months. Solely because…my feelings for you have grown quite deep. Perhaps a little more than professional…if you know what I mean? When I first met you and you spoke so freely towards me, you intrigued me immensely. There was something about you that I knew was special. And, who knew after our many meetings and converations that I would find myself looking forward to the next time I’d get to see you again. In simpler terms, I’ve come to realize that I…I love you, Akira Kurusu…whether you return those feelings or not.”  
Akechi held his breath, keeping his eyes shut as he awaited the rejection he’d played a least a dozen times in his head. Akira was silent for what felt like eternity, and when Akechi cracked an eye open, he wasn’t expecting to see Akira’s head lowered and his shoulders shaking ever so slightly.  
“Kurusu-kun…? Ar—“  
“Why didn’t you say something a long time ago? Why did you allow me to lie awake for hours on end at night and question whether my hatred for you was my own or on influence alone? I’ve been questioning everything about you for months. And, yet…here you are.”  
“Wh—What are you saying?” Akechi couldn’t believe his ears. Was Akira…confessing? That wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be. Akechi had been living in pain for so long because of his unrequited crush.  
“I’m saying I’ve figured it out,” Akira started, stepping towards Akechi. “I’ve figured out why I’ve been so conflicted. I’ve allowed myself to be swayed by Ryuuji and everyone else that I should hate you. So, I decided awhile ago that, yeah, I absolutely hated you. But, here you are, standing in my bedroom, confessing to me that you’ve grown to like me in a way that is not friendship.”  
“How could I hate someone I secretly became so fond of in just a matter of months? Takemi came by the other day. She told me you were sick…because of me.”  
“I—what?” Akechi frowned. Takemi-san…told Akira about his Hanahaki Disease? What happened to client confidentiality? How did she know it was Akira he fancied? There was no way.  
Akira smiled softly, closing the distance between them. Akechi felt his breath hitch once he felt Akira’s nose brush his. “I’ve caused you so much pain, Akechi-kun. I realize now why you were coughing so much and always trying to assure me you were alright. You were hurting and I’m the cause of that. I don’t want to hurt you anymore—I’ve realized that now.”  
Akira stopped speaking long enough to brush his lips against Akechi’s, making his cheeks burn and his fingers twitch at his sides. “Can I kiss you, detective?” Akechi nodded shakily, not quite processing what was happening, but allowed it to happen. Akira brought a hand up to cup Akechi’s jaw as he pressed their lips together gently. Akechi felt his heart flutter, like all the times it had done so when they were together. Akechi wrapped his arms around Akira’s waist, breaking the kiss to rest his head on the other’s chest. He felt his eyes begin to prickle with tears, not believing an ounce of what was happening.  
“I love you so much, Akira Kurusu,” Akechi mumbled. “Thank you so much.”  
Akira didn’t respond. Instead, he rubbed gentle circles into Akechi’s back and that was reassurance enough that Akira reciprocated the feelings he had suffered from for too long.

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me about persona 5 and/or anime!; chuuuya-s.tumblr.com
> 
> or youtube; youtube.com/AbandonedHopes


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